


Mr. Tinfoil Hat

by deludere



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 13:33:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10877817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deludere/pseuds/deludere
Summary: I went to water my plants on the balcony and you’re on yours with a tinfoil hat what the hell are you doing AU- (@dorkyhwang)http://dailyau.tumblr.com/post/149192664447/i-went-to-water-my-plants-on-the-balcony-and





	Mr. Tinfoil Hat

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've ever written so i don't plan on deleting it, no matter how much it makes me cringe while reading for nostalgia's sake. enjoy!

For what had to be the second time this month, Hajime Iwaizumi had remembered that plants were indeed living beings and needed to be nourished on a daily basis. As if they’d even be alive at this point. Nevertheless, he dragged himself from his bed and headed away to his sink to go fill a canister with water.

Iwaizumi dragged his feet through the stuffy hall of his apartment, guiding himself to the balcony. Hajime drew in the fresh air and gazed around at his wonderful 4th-floor apartment view. Which was, for the most part, another brick wall in front of him. It was artistic in it’s own sense, with vines growing in between the cement cracks. As for Hajime's not-brick-wall-view, it was serene, the sky filled with pink clouds which hung low in the sky. The sun to his right, leaving the horizon, the cool breeze against his skin, his neighbour, sporting a lovely tin foil hat over on his respective balcony. Wait, what?

“What. The. Fuck?” Iwaizumi uttered, earning himself a glare from Mr. Tinfoil Hat.

“Be quiet, my darling Iwa-chan. I’m trying to communicate, you shan't ruin my focus,” hushed the one and only, Oikawa 'Darling' Tooru, who definitely had a few screws loose. And Iwa-chan? What kind of nickname…?

“And with what are you trying to communicate with? Aliens? Perhaps the illuminati?"/p>

“Spot on, Iwa-chan! The aliens will soon be here. I had the courtesy to invite them over. To your flat. Since I thought you might enjoy some company. You’re welcome, by the way,” Oikawa said, all in one breath.

“What's with the dingy hat?” Iwaizumi sighed, tired of Oikawa's antics. There were a multitude of things to be more concerned about, but Iwaizumi hadn't the energy to even ask anymore. 

“It’s there to ward off the bad aliens of course. Furthermore, it’s not dingy. What’s truly dingy is the condition that your flowers are in.” Tooru pointed to the flaking, yellow-brown plants to Iwaizumi’s left, which were undoubtably holding onto their last strings of life. “Now come on, I made a hat for you too!”

And before he had any time to react, Oikawa frog-leaped from his balcony onto Hajime’s. Oikawa began to drag Iwaizumi by the collar of his shirt to the front door. 

After countless excursions like these, Iwaizumi had long since found that the only thing he could do, was cede and go along with Oikawa. Iwaizumi recalled once, whenever he ignored Oikawa knocking his door, Oikawa got upset and began to reenact the "I ain't go no school 'cause of y'all," vine, banging pots and pans as he stampeded through the complex's hallways. This, of course, earned them both noise complaints, as it was 3 in the morning when this situation took place. Ah, good memories. Oikawa slammed the door shut behind him and began to make his way through the halls of their shared apartment complex. He paused for a moment. They had both come to a startling realization.

“We’re locked out of out flats,” the shorter of the two deadpanned, checking his pockets for keys, to no avail. “I don’t have my keys or my phone on me to call anybody because you see, I was only supposed to be watering my dear succulents. I wasn't expecting to be abducted,” Iwaizumi remarked.

“I don’t have my keys or phone either,” Oikawa sulked, leaning his tin foil wrapped head on Iwaizumi's shoulder.

Iwaizumi breathed a heavy sigh. “I’m tired, but I can’t sleep in my bed because I’m locked out of my flat. I'm going to need approximately 2 shots of espresso to stay awake right now, so I’m walking to the cafe across the street because miraculously, I have my wallet on me. I’ll fix this situation up with our landlord later.”

“Can I come?”

"Yeah, I guess, but you're going to have to take that dingy hat off of your head before I'm seen anywhere with you," Iwaizumi, replied, feigning reluctance.

Together, they headed off to the building's elevator, hoping that the worst wouldn't happen and it wouldn't break on them.

**Author's Note:**

> whats up! congrats on making it this far, because i wouldn't be able to. i know there are some plot holes, but i'm really lazy and don't feel like fixing them. sorry,. other than that, feel free to comment on typos, or just anything really. thanks for reading!!


End file.
